Where Will the NFL’s Top 5 Free Agents Land?

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Let the tampering begin! NFL free agent season is here – well, not until 4 p.m. technically. With the rumors flying fast and furious and Adam Schefter sporting a two-day tent in his pants that may require medical attention, let’s run down where the top 5 free agents will land.

5. Michael Vick, QB: Vick is bolting Philly and the Jets may be interested. However, Vick wants to start. Likely destinations: Oakland Raiders, Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the PETA Bulldogs of the Puppy Bowl League.

4. Eric Decker, WR: Decker has been one of the NFL’s most productive wide outs the last two years. While he would like to stay with the Denver Peyton Mannings, it’s a longshot Likely destinations: Oakland Raiders (they want everyone), Indianapolis Colts or as a roadie for Nickleback.

3. Jared Allen, DE: Allen had 23.5 sacks from 2012-2013, 22 sacks in 2011, earning him the 2011 NFC Defensive Player of the Year award and still has gas in the tank. Likely destinations: Denver Broncos, Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the WWE are making plays for the sack master.

2. Aqib Talib, CB: Talib is one of the top corners in the game not named Revis (sshhh, don’t tell Richard Sherman). Likely destinations: Stays with the Patriots, Washington Redskins, host of the Tonight Show. That guy needs a talk show!

1. Aterraun Berner, CB: Berner ranks over Talib because of Talib’s injury history, but cornerback is this years quarterback. It’s a passing league, baby. Likely destinations: New England Patriots, Minnesota Vikings and Dancing With the Stars are making moves on Berner.

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