(POLL) March Madness Billion Dollar Bracket of the Absurd: Elite Eight

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March Madness is almost over (hell, it’s not even March) and while your bracket ended up a dumpster fire in the first round there is still a chance for you to win a Dirty Turban t-shirt. It may not be a billion in cash, but you’ll look damn handsome in it.

We are down to the Elite Eight in the Dirty Turban March Madness Billion Dollar Bracket of the Absurd. Just pick the winners and retweet to qualify.

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JERKY REGION 

#1 Fat guy on mini-bike vs. #13 Armadillos 

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Fat Ass + Mini Bike = Timeless

Armadillos are New World placental mammals with a leathery armor shell and often referred to in Texas as dinner.

 

#2 Travis Bickle vs. #14 Hentai

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Travis Bickle is a military veteran who served in Vietnam, lives in New York City, drives a taxi and wants to know, “Are you talking to me?”

Hentai is Japanese anime porn. Or so I have been told.

NONSENSICAL REGION 

#1 Red Vines vs. #13 Bangkok

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Red Vines are a delicious red licorice candy that tastes great with Mr. Pibb.

Bangkok is the capital of Thailand – the land of smiles – where the chlamydia is free.

 #11 St. Elmo’s Fire vs. #2 Charles Bronson

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St. Elmo’s Fire is a weather phenomenon where “fire” appears on inanimate objects like Rob Lowe.

Charles Bronson was an American actor that starred in such films as Death Wish, The Dirty DozenDeath Wish 4 and was the voice of Velma on Scooby-Doo.

Stay tuned for the thrilling March Madness Billion Dollar* Bracket of the Absurd Final Four and you could win. 

*there is no billion dollar jackpot, but there is a handsome new Dirty Turban t-shirt. Retweet to qualify. 

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