Dirty South: Getting High on Embalming Fluid Turns You into Beyoncé


I have to admit, I am not the kind of girl who listens to pop music, and I can honestly say I have never heard a Beyoncé song in my life.  Maybe that is a good thing, as it seems her music drives men to tweaked out twerking.

The Setting:  Houston, Texas.  A yet to be identified man, high on embalming fluid, stripped naked and started dancing, twerking, and shaking his money maker in the street. With many onlookers, some of which were children, standing by, his one-man concert consisted of him screaming “surfboard” while doing “the Beyoncé.”

A woman, claiming to be his cousin, stated that he “stays up all night getting high on embalming fluid”.  The man was taken to a local hospital by police for a “mental health evaluation.”  It is unclear at this time if he will face any charges.

So, forget about those bath salts.  They were sooooo 2012!  The new drug to give you super, hot moves like Bey-Bey is embalming fluid!  Twerk like a champ without any of those nasty, face eating side-effects!

We here in the Dirty South raise a Mint Julep to you, Mr. Naked Embalming Fluid Tweaker Twerker.  Maybe Mrs. Bey-Z is watching and you now have a new job as a back-up dancer, you know, once you get out of the mental ward.

Contributing Writer: Dixie Darling


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