Dirty South: Officer, Will You Watch My Stolen Bike While I Do Some Shoplifting?


The Setting:  DeKalb County, Georgia.  Mark Densmore, age not disclosed, was arrested in a Walmart after riding his stolen bicycle to the store to do a little shoplifting.  When he arrived at the store, he asked some police officers to keep an eye on his bike aabike1because “it was very nice and expensive.”

The cops, being obviously busy solving real crimes, decided that Densmore didn’t appear to be the type to be able to afford an “expensive” bike and ran the serial numbers. Turns out their overzealous police work paid off.  The bicycle had been reported stolen from an Atlanta Condo a few days before.

aamark1While all of this True Detective policing was going on outside, our old buddy Densmore was busy inside Wally World…shoplifting…and getting busted.

Something tells me that this guy will not be engaging in any high-end, Oceans 11-style heists anytime soon. He doesn’t exactly look like the Danny Ocean type.

No word yet on whether Densmore is still in jail, but he’s likely walking home. I’d raise a Mint Julep in your honor, Mr. Densmore, but someone appears to have swiped my glass.

Contributing Writer: Dixie Darling

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