I have been getting some flak from some of my readers lately, wanting to know why I seemingly pick on Florida so much. My response is always, “if they ever stop giving me fodder, I will stop writing about it.” But, being one to always bow to my faithful, sexy, and loyal followers, I have decided to listen to my readers and move to the Southwest for today’s journey into the somewhat Dirty South.
The Setting: Albuquerque, New Mexico. 46-year-old Danny Brawner was arrested at a Smith’s Food and Drug Store after allegedly giving a car the flogging of its life with ol’ one-eye, then passing out with his pants around his ankles in the parking lot next to the vehicle. Brawner apparently attracted attention to himself by swinging his arms and shouting while he was working his clam hammer on the car, and witnesses called police.
He has been charged with two counts of aggravated indecent exposure and one count of indecent exposure. It is unclear at this time if bail was set and/or if Brawner is still being held in the Albuquerque jail. It is also unclear at this time if Brawner was under the influence of any substances, but let’s hope for his sake he was blasted out of his mind.
Men – they love their vehicles…some a little TOO much. I have also said it before, and I will say it again: Men and your wieners. You will stick your bald-headed giggle sticks in anything if given half a chance. But hey, I can’t judge. Give me a jet black, ’70 Plymouth Hemi ‘Cuda, with blood red interior, and I’d be all over it like a drunken prom date.
We here in the Dirty South raise a Mint Julep to you, Captain Kielbasa. Way to cash in all of your dignity chips in one, fail swoop.
Contributing Writer: Dixie Darling