Dirty South: Peeping Tom Makes Shi**y Decision, Gets Busted by Police


Stalkers, peepers, creepers or wackos, whatever you want to call them, they are here to stay.  Just ask the stalker who has been living in my bushes for the past 2 years.  Some are more subtle and skilled in their chosen profession, others need a little more seasoning.

The Setting: Tulsa County, Oklahoma.  A woman was enjoying a day at the White Water Park, when nature called.  Unlike the rest of us, this goody-goody chose to go to the bathroom to relieve herself, rather than just let it go in the pool.  When she hit the outhouse-style bathroom, she saw a man looking up at her. Underneath the toilet!

enlow152-year-old Kenneth Enlow hit a new low when he was found peeping up from the bathroom floor, which is apparently a concrete floor that separates the toilet from the dookie-filled pit below, you know, real high-class facilities.  He was reportedly covered in dirty squirties.

Enlow claimed that his girlfriend, “Angel,” knocked him unconscious with a tire iron and threw him in the poop pit.  Oh, I neglected to mention that Enlow is 6’, 240-pounds, so cops weren’t buying his story.

Enlow was charged with peeping and taken to jail.  His bond was set at $500.  Enlow also had outstanding warrants for embezzlement and illegal trash dumping, and had also been arrested for public intoxication and driving with a suspended license in the past.

aadirtypooper2So, what have we learned here today, kiddies?  1) Some creepers will go to any lengths to see some woman’s hoo-ha.  Even immerse themselves in a stank tank;  2) If you are going to be all high and mighty and use public bathrooms like some kind of socialite debutante, then you deserve whatever happens to you and; 3) my stalker/peeper needs to step up his game.  This “bushes creeping” is getting tired.

We here in the dirty south raise a Purell-laced Mint Julep to you, Mr. Enlow.  Whether you were knocked unconscious and tossed into a septic tank by a woman or you chose to climb in there for a chance at a free golden shower, you are definitely our kind of degenerate.  You may, however, want to refer to your Creeper Handbook.  I believe there is a chapter in there listing all the reasons crap tank peeping is frowned upon, or so my stalker tells me.



Contributing Writer: Dixie Darling



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