The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 7/18


The last four baseball-less days have been excruciating. Sure the Home Run Derby and the Jeter over the pants hand job fest…oops, I mean Mid-Summer Classic took my mind off it a little, but all I could do was think about Daily Fantasy. Wednesday and Thursday were two of the most painful days of my life. And that’s saying a lot – after all I did see all the Twilight movies at my wife’s request. I mean that’s painful!



Wednesday night I went to the super market to go shopping for the family and just ended up wandering around until the cops asked me to leave. I was in the Freezer section talking about Xander Bogaerts BABIP… a bag of waffle fries. Needless to say things got bad, REAL BAD. But here we are back in the swing of things! Baseball is back, there are daily fantasy rosters to be made, and other people’s ca$h money to win. Gambling addiction is not only fun, dangerous, and exciting. It’s also great at distracting you from the mundane details of everyday life! Now onto the picks.

All prices based on DraftKings

SP1 – Stephen Strasburg, $10,500: 10.73 K/9 and a 1.87 BB/9 that’s nearly a difference of 9 between his K/9 and his BB/9. The only person in that range is David Price. Stras gets the Brewers who are no easy matchup, but I don’t expect him to get blown up. He’s the best bet on the board for a quality outing and 8-9 K’s.

SP 2 – Jose Quintana, $8,600: over the last month not many pitchers have been hotter than Quintana putting up 21 and 34 points in his last two starts. The lefty has a K/9 of 10.43 and a BB/9 of 1.84 over those appearances. He gets Houston tomorrow who surprisingly have hit lefties pretty well ranking in the top 5 against them. The Astros still don’t scare me and the K% against southpaws is still high at 22.5. I’m betting on the hot streak continuing tonight.

C – Christian Bethancourt, $2,300: Bethancourt probably doesn’t have too many starts left with the Braves before Evan Gattis returns. I’ll give him a ride today as an upside punt play at catcher.

1B – Paul Goldschmidt, $5,800: Goldy gets Edwin Jackson at Chase Field tonight. That matchup sounds as appetizing as drinking Blue Label out of Scarlett Johansson’s navel. In other words PERFECT!

2B – Arismendy Alcantara, $3,700: The Double A Battery has been charged up since joining the Cubs right before the break. He’s hit .391 and averaged 14.8 points per game on DraftKings. He’s got solid power and speed and is always a candidate for the ever elusive, ever sexy slam and legs. He’s in the desert tonight facing Trevor Cahill. What’s not to like? Scorpions? Sure! But are we talking about the insect or the band?

3B – Anthony Rendon, $4,200: The Nationals 2B/3B has had a great first half putting up solid numbers across the board. He’s typically one of my favorite plays at 2nd and 3rd. He faces Kyle Loshe tonight, who Rendon is 1/3 against with a homer. Small sample size but it’s powerful! I said that all the time in college.

SS – Xander Bogaerts, $3,300: Okay fellow Sox Fans he’s had a really bad month. That happens to 21 year old rookies. It’s insane the amount of hate I’ve heard directed his way over the last couple weeks. He hit .135 in June and is at .132 thus far in July, but let’s not forget he hit .278 in April and .327 in May. Young hitters go through slumps. He’s still a future star with an advanced approach and good power. It’s also no coincidence that he started to slide a little after the signing of Stephen Drew. End rant! As for today he costs $3,300 and I’m looking for the X-Man to get on the good foot for the second half. Plus I made a bet that Xander will out hit Brock Holt in the 2nd half.

OF 1 – Jay Bruce, $4,500: This is simple, Bruce is a lefty power bat at Yankee stadium against a so-so fly ball pitcher. I’m going all dong of the night on JB. Bruce don’t let me dowwwwn Bruce! Sorry I have to reference that song after every bold prediction about Jay Bruce. It’s in my contract, and by contract I mean my made up agreement with Guru.

OF 2 – David Peralta, $3,700: He’s a .300 hitter facing Edwin Jackson at Chase Field tonight. I mean it’s not Goldy vs Jackson is to Drinking Blue Label out of Scarlett Johansson’s navel perfect, but it’s still good. It’s more drinking Dark and Stormys from Rihanna’s navel. Sounds good right?

OF 3 – James Jones, $3,400: This is all about some cheap speed. At this price if I get two hits and a steal I’m coming out in the black. I’m looking for speed the way Don Johnson was looking for a heartbeat. Speaking of which for a good looking guy his standards were pretty low huh? A heart beat is your qualifier? You were an 80’s sex symbol Don look for a tight waist and pretty face Doode.

As always be sure to check the lineups, give a look at the weather and I toast your team with slightly chilled Manischewitz.

Contributing Writer: Ralph Lifshitz



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