Nothing is as good these days as it was when we were younger. Heck, even a “value” meal at McDonald’s these days will run you over an eight-spot. While prices continue to be on the rise, it seems that quality has decreased. And no one has been hit harder with this than meth heads.
The Setting: Garfield County, Oklahoma. 54-year-old Meth head, Lynette Rae Sampson, felt that she didn’t receive a nice batch of the Heisenberg Blue that she had “ordered” from her dealer, and decided to do something about it. That something just happened to be calling the police to claim “my ice was laced with something.” When an officer arrived to “investigate” Sampson told him, “I am glad you came.”
Being ever so eager to get to the bottom of this travesty of justice and procure the quality meth she had ordered, she allegedly showed the officer all of her stash places around her home. She also told the officer that she was “hearing things” and “sweating profusely.” Lynette, sweetie, we Belles of the south don’t sweat, we glisten…much like your ice.
Needless to say Lynette didn’t get her Walter White quality junk and was carted off to jail on a methanfelony count of possession. She is looking at up to 10 years if convicted. but is reportedly going to be featured on Season 3 of Orange is the New Black.
We here in the dirty south raise a Mint Julep over ice to you, Lynette. We, more than anyone, know the frustrations of not getting what you paid for and a drop in a quality product. We also salute your expectation of pure, American made, illegal drugs to f**k yourself up with. Next time though, you may not want to be so high and mighty when it comes to your meth and remember times are tough all over.
Contributing Writer: Dixie Darling