How many of you guys out there have met a girl and thought, “Hmm, I think she could be the one,” only to find out she’s wacked out of her mind shortly thereafter? If you are any of my sexy, yet loyal followers, I am going to assume that this has happened to you more than once. Well my lovelies have no fear! Dixie is here to warn you of one woman you may want to avoid, should you be in the market for some new poon.
The Setting: Beaumont, Texas. Like all hopelessly lost hipster 30-somethings, 33-year-old Sarah Hamilton considers herself an artist. She is also fascinated with cats and serial killers. Yeah, I know, right? She sounds like quite the catch! Well, it seems that Sarah has taken her obsessions with those two things and combined them into one killer pussy art display she calls, “Serial Catter.”
Hamilton’s (ahem) art work depict cats alongside the likenesses of noted serial killers such as John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, and Jeffrey Dahmer. Her paintings were recently on display at a fair in Beaumont where (reportedly) all but four sold, proving once and for all that Texans will buy any piece of crap you put in front of them.
Hamilton solidified her life as a single woman by commenting, “I’m not trying to glorify the killers, I just love cats and am interested in darker subject matter. People that don’t like cats don’t get it anyway.” Ok, crazy cat lady, whatever you say.
In case there was any shenanigans called on Hamilton’s place in the “crazy cat lady” arena, she made it known that she is the proud owner of seven cats and one dog. She also plans to continue to make more serial killing cat art and stated, “This is sort of the tip of the iceberg. I don’t want to just paint cats. There’s got to be something deeper beneath the surface—something more psychological or interesting than just painting cats.”
We here in the dirty south raise a Mint Julep to all the single guys out there who know all too well what it’s like to date crazy. I love you all, and you are welcome for the heads up on this one. Just remember, 1) if a girl calls herself an artist, it means she’s unemployed; 2) More than three cats is cause for concern; and 3) An obsession with serial killers AND cats? Run!
Contributing Writer: Dixie Darling