Here in the dirty south, trucks abound. Over the years, one thing this single, yet glamorously beautiful southern girl has noticed: the bigger the truck, the bigger the asshole. And now it seems that trucks agree and are making it clear that they have had enough.
The Setting: Gainesville, Florida. 48-year-old Joseph Carl used his better judgment and decided that, after a day of heavy drinking, it would be a good idea to get behind the wheel of his truck and go for a spin. When he arrived at a stop light, he found a less courteous driver stopped thoughtlessly at a red light, and needless to say, he rear-ended her.
Being one to want to educate fellow drivers on the error of their ways and pay it forward, Broseph got out of his vehicle and approached the woman sitting in her car. The careless woman over-reacted to having a strange man angrily banging on her driver side window, and drove off.
This is not the end to this story, however. When ‘ol Joe rear-ended the woman and got out of his truck, it seems that he was so eager to teach her proper driver’s etiquette that he neglected to put the truck in park. Her car was holding his in place, and when she drove off, Joe’s truck went all Maximum Overdrive and rolled over him.
He was taken to a local hospital where he was treated for some broken bones in his hand and foot. His efforts were unappreciated by police as he was also charged with DUI and DUI property damage.
We here in the dirty south raise a radial-flavored Mint Julep to you, Joe. You made a sound decision to drive while hammered, rear-end a less courteous driver who thought to stop at a red light, and then ended up creamed by your own truck. They call it road rage, we degenerates call it a Sunday drive. Next time you are in Wilmington, meet me at the Dixie Boy Truck Stop and we can toss a few back before hitting the road again.
Contributing Writer: Dixie Darling