Red Sox Trade Jon Lester to Oakland For Yoenis Cespedes and Jonah Hill

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You have to hand it to Billy Brad Pitt Beane, he’s got some some big money balls. Thursday morning, the Boston Red Sox shipped ace left-hander and two-time World Series champion Jon Lester (along with American hero Jonny Gomes) to Beane’s Oakland A’s for slugger Yoenis Cespedes and Academy Award nominated actor Jonah Hill.

When asked to comment, Billy Pitt said, “I know Jonah got a couple Oscar nominations, but this money ball stuff is getting kinda old. We’d like to win a playoff game. Besides, Angelina and I have 42 kids to feed.”

Red Sox general manager Ben Cherington said, “Cespedes gives us a big righty bat at Fenway and we sure hope we get the fat Jonah Hill because the skinny one isn’t as funny and just looks weird.”

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Featured Writer: The Guru

@TheGuruGS
#TheDirtyTurban

 

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