(PHOTO) NYC Strip Club Offers Carmelo Anthony Free Lap Dances For Life To Sign With Knicks, Cleveland Makes Same Offer to LeBron – It’s Not As Exciting

New York City strip club Scores really wants Carmelo Anthony to re-sign with the Knicks. They want him back so bad that they are offering ‘Melo free lap dances. For life.

According to TMZ Sports, Scores New York is also offering Carmelo the chance to judge the Scores “Dollars for Scholars” amateur pole dancing competition, which gives a $15,000 scholarship in his name to one lucky young lady. How generous! If that wasn’t enough, Scores will also invite him to play in a charity basketball game featuring nothing but topless women. No hand fouls!

Meanwhile in Cleveland, the Angry Beaver strip club is offering LeBron James one free lap dance from this lady.

Have fun in Cleveland, Bron Bron.

Featured Writer: The Guru
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(VIDEO) NBA Playoffs Update: Carmelo Anthony Survives Sharknado

New York Knicks star fisherman forward Carmelo Anthony has no time for playoff basketball – he’s never heard of it.

Melo has bigger fish to fry.

View this post on Instagram

"Sometimes you have to expect the unexpected" #StayMe7o. #IReallyDoThis

A post shared by Carmelo Anthony (@carmeloanthony) on Apr 27, 2014 at 4:53pm PDT

Anthony was able to haul this one in all on his own. What? You expected him to pass?

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(PHOTO) Twit Wit Mistakes LeBron James For Derrick Rose, NAACP Investigating

Let me get this straight. A black dude sees this pic and thinks it’s Derrick Rose? That’s sign 4267 that the zombie apocalypse is imminent. Even the four white girl readers here know that’s Carmelo.

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Top 5 GIFs of the NBA Season (so far)

The NBA just hit its All Star break which means the season is mercifully half over. Thank you, Jeebus!

Unfortunately, once the playoffs begin there will be basketball until July. Take me, Jeebus!

Just in case you missed it, here’s what’s happened so far. Now in GIF form!

5. Tie: Carmelo Anthony: Loves playing for the Knicks

 Kobe Bryant: Loves playing for the Lakers.

(GIF via deadspin.com)

4. JR Smith: Check out the defensive skills.

 (GIF via sportsgif.com)

3. Cody Zeller: White men can’t jump.

(GIF via @SBNationGIF)

2. And the Oscar goes to… LeBron James.

(GIF via @corkgaines)

1. Andrea Bargnani: White men still can’t jump.

(GIF via sbnation.com)

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NBA’s Top 10 All Endorsement Team

The East beat the West 163-155 in a defenseless NBA All-Star game Sunday night. While the point total was high, the amount of cash on the court was even higher.

Especially when it comes to endorsements.

According to Forbes, the NBA’s top 10 endorsers raked in $155 million last year. More than the NFL, MLB and the NHL combined.

Here’s the top 10:

Player/total endorsement income/shoe sponsor

LeBron James: $42 million (Nike)

Kobe Bryant: $34 million (Nike)

Derrick Rose: $21 million (Adidas)

Kevin Durant: $14 million (Nike)

Dwyane Wade: $12 million (Li Ning)

Carmelo Anthony: $9 million (Jordan/Nike)

Amar’e Stoudemire: $6.5 million (Nike)

Dwight Howard: $6 million (Adidas)

Blake Griffin: $6 million (Jordan/Nike)

Chris Paul: $4 million (Jordan/Nike)

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