The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 7/24

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It’s Thirsty Thursday, my daily degenerates. Someone get me a mojito!  It’s been a successful week thus far as your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru has come out of the cold streak and recouped most of the pre-All Star break losses. I’m one step closer to a winter of fun in the sun, thong watching and one giant mojito. We’re going to need more limes!

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What’s up with these split slates, MLB? It’s another day of early games and seven games this evening. While I have a couple roster entries this afternoon, let’s focus on tonight’s games on DraftKings. Want to take on the Dirty Turban Crew in a 20 team 50/50? Hit this link.

Here’s your dirty turbaned Guru’s team for Thursday 7/24. Good luck, cheers.

All values are based on DraftKings pricing.

SP 1 – Corey Kluber, $9,000: Why no love for Kluber today? The last time he faced the Royals he went 8.1 innings of 4-hit ball with 10 K’s. Want to pay up? It’s Max Scherzer, but he’s $$$.

SP 2 – Matt Garza, $7,700: Since the start of June, Garza has an ERA just over 3.00 and has held hitters to a .230 batting average. He gets the K happy Mets today and I’m all in on the Brew Crew.

C – Jonathan Lucroy, $4,500: It’s an ol’ Milwaukee stack today and Lucroy has to be in the middle of it. Yan Gomes is also in play tonight.

1B – Jose Abreu, $5,200: Abreu has crushed rightiesto the tune of 22 homers and a .629 SLG%. He’s been battling a bad back and has yet to homer since the break. That changes tonight as the Cuban Crusher is your Guru’s Dong of the Night. Freddie Freeman is a cheaper option.

2B – Richie Weeks, $3,500: With Scooter Gennett battling a quad injury, Weeks gets the start at a moderate price. Here’s hoping he’s hitting near the top of the Brewers lineup tonight. If you’re looking to spend Brian Dozier looks to be in a good spot.

3B – Aramis Ramirez, $4,400: Stack. Brewers. Win. $$$$.

SS – Jose Ramirez, $2,000: Jose should get the start as Asdrubal Cabrera battles a back injury. $ure, it’s a punt, but Jose did have two hits last night and 10 FPTS.

OF 1 – Ryan Braun, $5,900: Is Braun heating up or back on the juice? Who cares, he has 17 hits over his last 10 games and can inject bull semen directly into his brain stem if it wins me $$$.

OF 2 – Carlos Gomez, $4,800: Cargo-lite has a .384 wOBA at home, is averaging 9+ FPTS over his last five games an closes out our Brewers stack tonight. I’ll be praying to my Cecil Cooper bobblehead the $tack comes through tonight.

OF 3 – Moises Sierra, $2,300: Total up$ide punt play as Sierra is hitting .344 (8/16) with a double, a homer and five RBI against Twins starter Phil Hughes.

Make sure to check the lineups, give a look at the weather and buy me a mojito with your winnings.

agoo1
Featured Writer: The Guru

@TheGuruGS
#TheDirtyTurban

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The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 7/18

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The last four baseball-less days have been excruciating. Sure the Home Run Derby and the Jeter over the pants hand job fest…oops, I mean Mid-Summer Classic took my mind off it a little, but all I could do was think about Daily Fantasy. Wednesday and Thursday were two of the most painful days of my life. And that’s saying a lot – after all I did see all the Twilight movies at my wife’s request. I mean that’s painful!

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Wednesday night I went to the super market to go shopping for the family and just ended up wandering around until the cops asked me to leave. I was in the Freezer section talking about Xander Bogaerts BABIP…..to a bag of waffle fries. Needless to say things got bad, REAL BAD. But here we are back in the swing of things! Baseball is back, there are daily fantasy rosters to be made, and other people’s ca$h money to win. Gambling addiction is not only fun, dangerous, and exciting. It’s also great at distracting you from the mundane details of everyday life! Now onto the picks.

All prices based on DraftKings

SP1 – Stephen Strasburg, $10,500: 10.73 K/9 and a 1.87 BB/9 that’s nearly a difference of 9 between his K/9 and his BB/9. The only person in that range is David Price. Stras gets the Brewers who are no easy matchup, but I don’t expect him to get blown up. He’s the best bet on the board for a quality outing and 8-9 K’s.

SP 2 – Jose Quintana, $8,600: over the last month not many pitchers have been hotter than Quintana putting up 21 and 34 points in his last two starts. The lefty has a K/9 of 10.43 and a BB/9 of 1.84 over those appearances. He gets Houston tomorrow who surprisingly have hit lefties pretty well ranking in the top 5 against them. The Astros still don’t scare me and the K% against southpaws is still high at 22.5. I’m betting on the hot streak continuing tonight.

C – Christian Bethancourt, $2,300: Bethancourt probably doesn’t have too many starts left with the Braves before Evan Gattis returns. I’ll give him a ride today as an upside punt play at catcher.

1B – Paul Goldschmidt, $5,800: Goldy gets Edwin Jackson at Chase Field tonight. That matchup sounds as appetizing as drinking Blue Label out of Scarlett Johansson’s navel. In other words PERFECT!

2B – Arismendy Alcantara, $3,700: The Double A Battery has been charged up since joining the Cubs right before the break. He’s hit .391 and averaged 14.8 points per game on DraftKings. He’s got solid power and speed and is always a candidate for the ever elusive, ever sexy slam and legs. He’s in the desert tonight facing Trevor Cahill. What’s not to like? Scorpions? Sure! But are we talking about the insect or the band?

3B – Anthony Rendon, $4,200: The Nationals 2B/3B has had a great first half putting up solid numbers across the board. He’s typically one of my favorite plays at 2nd and 3rd. He faces Kyle Loshe tonight, who Rendon is 1/3 against with a homer. Small sample size but it’s powerful! I said that all the time in college.

SS – Xander Bogaerts, $3,300: Okay fellow Sox Fans he’s had a really bad month. That happens to 21 year old rookies. It’s insane the amount of hate I’ve heard directed his way over the last couple weeks. He hit .135 in June and is at .132 thus far in July, but let’s not forget he hit .278 in April and .327 in May. Young hitters go through slumps. He’s still a future star with an advanced approach and good power. It’s also no coincidence that he started to slide a little after the signing of Stephen Drew. End rant! As for today he costs $3,300 and I’m looking for the X-Man to get on the good foot for the second half. Plus I made a bet that Xander will out hit Brock Holt in the 2nd half.

OF 1 – Jay Bruce, $4,500: This is simple, Bruce is a lefty power bat at Yankee stadium against a so-so fly ball pitcher. I’m going all dong of the night on JB. Bruce don’t let me dowwwwn Bruce! Sorry I have to reference that song after every bold prediction about Jay Bruce. It’s in my contract, and by contract I mean my made up agreement with Guru.

OF 2 – David Peralta, $3,700: He’s a .300 hitter facing Edwin Jackson at Chase Field tonight. I mean it’s not Goldy vs Jackson is to Drinking Blue Label out of Scarlett Johansson’s navel perfect, but it’s still good. It’s more drinking Dark and Stormys from Rihanna’s navel. Sounds good right?

OF 3 – James Jones, $3,400: This is all about some cheap speed. At this price if I get two hits and a steal I’m coming out in the black. I’m looking for speed the way Don Johnson was looking for a heartbeat. Speaking of which for a good looking guy his standards were pretty low huh? A heart beat is your qualifier? You were an 80’s sex symbol Don look for a tight waist and pretty face Doode.

As always be sure to check the lineups, give a look at the weather and I toast your team with slightly chilled Manischewitz.

aaralph
Contributing Writer: Ralph Lifshitz

@Ralphlifshitzbb
#DirtyTurban

The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 7/9

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(Enters stage right) What’s up my Dirty Turbanersssssss (crowd hoots Arsenal Hall style) hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot. It’s good to be back with my people! Can I tell y’all who’s got me mad? Can I? Mannnnnnn your boy Lifshitz got burnt like a Pamela Anderson ex by Julio Teheran last night. If it wasn’t for JT taking a giant crap on my DraftKings roster I would have cashed everywhere. Can I get a Seth Myers Really? Really?!? You put up a negative 6.30 points against the fracking Mets! Just goes to show Daily Fantasy is unpredictable. I think as a fictional, yet extraordinary retarded man once said “DFS is like a box of chocolates, sometimes Julio Teheran is one of those gross orange ones.” Oh look! Ice cream!

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All prices based on DraftKings

SP 1 – Roenis Elias, $8,100: There are several mid to low cost arms today worth your time (Elias, Simon, Ventura, Fister, Loshe, Cobb). My favorite of the bunch is Elias. A lefty with an absolutely dirty curveball that keeps hitters off balance. I fully expect a big night from Elias against the Twins. The Twinkies have a 21.8% k% against lefties paired with a wOBA of .306. Both of those numbers place them in the bottom tier of the league against southpaws. Elias is improving as well. In fact his BB/9 has improved each month as the season has progressed, and his K/9 of 7.63 is solid. Bold prediction for tonight 7 IP, 9 K’s, 2 ER’s, and a W.

SP 2 – Alfredo Simon, $8,100: This guy (thumb points to myself) isn’t the biggest Simon believer. His FIP and xFIP are way out of whack with his ERA and his strikeout rates are below 6. Regression will come soon. I just don’t think it will be tonight against the Cubbies. I’ve talked ad nauseam about how bad the Cubs are in my previous write ups, so I don’t feel the need to elaborate. Simon has a high floor so I’m buying the security.

C – Christian Bethancourt, $2,100: I love a top prospect punt play and that’s what Bethancourt is. He’s been playing every day and certainly has some serious ability. So play on! I wonder if he’s ever considered Sister Christian for his walk up music? Then again maybe the scene from Boogie Nights with the child molester smoking crack while throwing fire crackers ruined it for him too….

1B – Jose Abreu, $5,100: This one is straight forward to any Red Sox fan. Two words Felix Doubront. I’d be shocked if Papa Large doesn’t go deep. DONG OF THE NIGHT!

2B – Kyle Seager, $4,600: I love that I get to use Seager at 2nd in DraftKings. Has he ever even played 2nd? Either way I like his matchup against Kyle Gibson and could see fitting a few Mariners into my lineups today.

3B – Adrian Beltre, $5,200: Beltre has been a beast all season but in June and July he’s been Ruthian. It seems like every night you can plug him in and expect some RBI’s or a homer. Check his June stats .392 average, 4 homers, 22 RBI’s and a .430 wOBA. His July stats are following suit with a wOBA of .477 and a wRC+ of 204. He faces Dallas Keuchel this evening who’s starting to regress. Then again Beltre can hit anyone regardless of stuff. I’m so happy the Sox let this guy walk.

SS – Elvis Andrus, $4,200: I need the speed! (Guru not that kind dude!)  Speed and power are the name of the game on DraftKings and Elvis gives me the speed. It also doesn’t hurt that he has a .353 average against lefties and he sees one in Keuchel tonight.

OF 1 – Jay Bruce, $4,200: When Bruce gets hot he gets scorching. After hitting .300 in June, he’s slumping a little in the batting average department in July. But fear not 3 of his 5 hits have gone for homers this month. Putting him one homer behind his total for last month. He gets a Cubs pitcher today in Dallas Beeler who’s very green and has meh minor league numbers. Bruce don’t let me down! Ugh sorry!

OF 2 – Jayson Werth, $4,700: Werth has been hot the last week racking up player of the week honors. I’m hoping to get some of that heat in my lineup tonight. Not much else behind it.

OF 3 – James Jones, $3,400: A few things in play with this pick. Price, Speed, Good Matchup, and the ability to blow on any given night. On Monday and Tuesday of last week Jones had back to back nights of 31 and 24 points. James “Earl” Jones is 17 of 18 this year on the base paths, and the Twins can be run on. So the speed is real (and spectacular). Even if the middle name of Earl isn’t.

As always make sure to check the lineups, give a look at the weather and I toast your team with slightly chilled Manischewitz.

aaralph


Contributing Writer: Ralph Lifshitz

@Ralphlifshitzbb
#DirtyTurban

The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 7/2

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Let me begin today’s blog with a special birthday shout out to my beautiful daughter Zoe who turns one today. May your birthday be filled with joy and the sweet green spoils of my daily fantasy dominance. I mean what daughter wouldn’t want her Dad to line his pockets with other people’s money on the day of her birth? AmIright? Or AmIright?

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In truth the last couple night haven’t been Ralph’s highest quality work. If my last two nights were clothing lines from my name sake they would be the Chaps clothing you buy at Marshall’s. After getting burnt by weather that was worse than expected Monday night in Chicago, I followed it up with mediocre results last night. Only cashing in one head to head and a ten team contest. Our daily fantasy game is one of ups and downs, kids. On another more positive note our very own Guru cashed in both Razzball 20 teamers last night. Good work boss!

We have a full slate of games on the board today but they’ve been broken in half with 8 afternoon games and 7 night games. What I’ll do is talk about my lineup for the night games.

All prices based on DraftKings

SP 1- Julio Teheran, $10,000: The Capital of Iran has been filthy this year putting up a 7.79 K/9 to a 1.74 BB/9. He’s also averaged 22.4 FPPG on DraftKings thus far. I would not expect the points to deviate too far from that number today against the swing happy and light hitting Mets. The other New York team has a 21.8% K% to go along with a .299 wOBA. In fact the only teams with lower wOBA’s are the Phillies, Cubs, and of course the Padres. Nothing less than 7 ip, 7 k’s, 2 ER’s a W will satisfy me.

SP 2- Brandon Workman, $6,700: So far the Red Sox – Cubs series has looked like a contest of who can score the least amount of runs. I hope that continues tonight as I see Workman as a great value play. Through 6 starts Workman has been pretty solid putting up a 3.60 as a starter. I don’t love his walk and k numbers but his k’s are useable at 6.69 and you have to hope the 3.34 BB/9 doesn’t hurt you. The good news for Workman is he gets the lowly Cubs today. Owners of a .292 wOBA, a number only topped by the Padres and a 22.9% K% which is 3rd worst in the league.

C – Chris Iannetta, $3,500: Rhode Island’s favorite son loves a lefty more than he loves a Cranston girl with a serious tan in a leopard skin bikini. Iannetta has a .399 wOBA against lefties this year and gets John Danks today. He’s the first cog in my Angels stack. BTW the Angels as a team have the 2nd highest wOBA against lefties in baseball at .342.

1B – C.J. Cron, $3,800: Cron was been smoking the last few weeks cementing a regular place in Mike Scioscia’s lineup. Just look at his 2 homer game on Friday where he put up 30 points on DraftKings. He’s another part of my Angels stack and he hits lefties pretty well. C.J. has a .365 wOBA against lefties to go with 4 dongs. I’m hoping C.J. goes all Dongey Cron tonight.

2B – Howie Kendrick, $4,200: Another Angel, another hitter who loves a lefty. He’s got a .277 average and a .328 wOBA against southpaws. Not a huge Howie fan but he’s one of the few options at the keystone I’m interested in.

3B – Xander Bogaerts, $3,800: The way Xander and the Red Sox first half has gone it’s difficult to justify playing anyone from that lineup. So I’m not really going to try. I will say Xander’s wOBA against lefties is .342 and he faces Travis Wood today at Fenway. If you decided to go another direction and start Matt Carpenter, Pablo Sandoval, Pedro Alvarez or other similarly priced options I wouldn’t blame you.

SS – Mookie Betts, $2,300: As I said in Monday’s column I’m going to ride Mookie till he either hits and his price goes up, or till he goes all Oscar Taveras and gets sent down. Unlike Taveras, Mookie has SS eligibility which is a huge bonus. He’s going to have a big day one of these games……will it be today??

OF 1 – Mike Trout, $6,000: Because it’s Mike Trout….here’s a quick poem about him…..
I like Mike Trout because he hits
I Like Mike Trout because he gives lefties fits
I like Mike Trout because he’s the tits!

OF 2 – Andrew McCutchen, $5,500: Dread Pirate is putting up MVP numbers once again this season and averaging just under 10 FPPG on DraftKings. He’s been quite the last few games and I’m betting against that trend continuing against Chase Anderson. Anderson averages 1.6 dongs per game. Maybe McCutchen outs one into the Alleghany.

OF 3 –Jason Heyward, $4,000: Heyward has a solid matchup against the Mets and Jacob deGrom. He hasn’t been all that hot of late. deGrom has been lucky against lefty hitters like Heyward sporting a 4.15 FIP. Heyward is also a candidate for the always dangerous and valuable slam and legs.

As always make sure to check the lineups, give a look at the weather and I toast your team with slightly chilled Manischewitz.

aaralph
Contributing Writer: Ralph Lifshitz

@Ralphlifshitzbb
#DirtyTurban

The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 6/9

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Happy Monday, my daily degenerates. It’s back to the grind and by grind I mean making green. Unfortunately for your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru, it was a break even kind of weekend. However, the bankroll continues to grow and I’m one step closer to a winter of fun in the sun, umbrella drinks, thong watching and a likely call to the Cancun bail bondsman.

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Here’s your dirty turbaned Guru’s team for Monday 6/9. Good luck, cheers.

All values are based on DraftKings pricing.

SP 1 – Charlie Morton, $7,900: Yeah, I know Stephen Strasburg is pitching tonight, but he’s pricey and I don’t like his numbers on the road so I’m going to go cheap on pitching and load up on the bat$ tonight. Morton has a 2.39 ERA at home and faces a Cubs team that has trouble making contact. R.A. Dickey is another arm to take a look at tonight.

SP 2 – Tony Cingrani, $7,700: Tony C has struggled some this season, but still averages a $trikeout an inning and gets a banged up Dodgers team that can’t hit lefties.

C – Evan Gattis, $4,300: A perfect $torm is brewing in Denver: The Braves + Coors Field +  a rookie pitcher = 431 runs. It’s a Braves stack attack tonight. John Jaso and Sal Perez are a couple other options around the same price.

1B – Freddie Freeman, $4,700: Great Cash Game play tonight as Freeman is under-priced and gets a right-handed pitcher making his MLB debut. Paul Goldschmidt and Brandson Moss are also in good spots tonight.

2B – Martin Prado, $3,900: Prado has been hot lately and will be playing at Chase Field or mini-Coors as I like to call it. A D-Backs stack could be a sneaky play tonight. Ian Kinsler and Jason Kipnis are the pricier options.

3B – Carlos Santana, $3,900: Santana is hitting .500 since coming off the DL and the CLE/TEX over under is 9 1/2. If you want to pay up, look across the diamond to Adrian Beltre will be doing damage for the Rangers.

SS – Asdrubal Cabrera, $4,200: The Ass-Man has 2 homers in his last three games and 5 of his 6 bombs have come off righties this year.

OF 1 – Justin Upton, $5,100: Did I mention the Braves are playing at Coors? Usually I avoid J-Up against right-handers, but Upton’s OPS against righties is .800. Andrew McCutchen is another high price target in play.

OF 2 – Jason Heyward, $4,700: Here’s the J-Hey kid’s stats over his last 10 games: 3 homers, 10 RBI, and 8 runs scored and a steal. Damn good, but he could do that tonight at Coors. Michael Brantley and Alex Rios also have tasty matchups at this price.

OF 3 – David Murphy, $3,400: It’s an Indians/Braves stack attack! I love and respect our Native American friends – awesome casinos! Murphy is a nice cheap play who is averaging nearly 9 FPTS over his last five games.

Make sure to check the lineups, give a look at the weather and buy me a beer with your winnings.

agoo1
Featured Writer: The Guru

@TheGuruGS
#TheDirtyTurban

The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 6/5

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I don’t mean to just go on and on about my fake teams or how well I’ve been doing lately, but damn, your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru is on fire. The turban is smokin’! Last night I cashed in five of six contests and the team I gave you yesterday banked as well. Did you play it? Why not, don’t like money?! Just six games on the slate tonight with some high over/unders in Texas and Colorado. Guess who I’m stacking?

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Here’s your dirty turbaned Guru’s team for Thursday 6/5. Good luck, cheers.

All values are based on DraftKings pricing.

SP 1 – Wily Peralta, $8,300: Peralta has looked good for the Brewers this year with a 1.88 ERA and 23 K’s over 24 innings in road starts. Michael Wacha is tempting, but the Royals don’t strikeout enough and I want a good share of tonight’s pri$ey bats.

SP 2 – Travis Wood, $6,800: Wood has struggled lately, but he gets a Mets team that likes to swing and mi$$…a lot.

C – Miguel Montero, $4,000: Monty had a dong last night and crushes lefties with a .369 wOBA this year. Oh, did I mention this game is at Coor$?

1B – Paul Goldschmidt, $5,400: Goldy went 3-for-5 last night and put up 27 FPTS. Can he get 30 tonight? *shakes Magic 8-Ball* “It is decidedly $o.”

2B – Jonathan Schoop, $2,900: Gotta save somewhere and, for a punt play, $choop has average 10 FPTS over his last three games.

3B – Martin Prado, $4,200: There are $ome nice options at third tonight with Adrian Beltre the best of the bunch. I’ll look to save a little and plug in Prado who had three hits, two runs and an RBI last night.

SS – Troy Tulowitzki, $5,800: I believe it was the Greek philosopher Heraclitus that said, “Troy Tulowitzki is very good at baseball.”

OF 1 – Charlie Blackmon, $4,800: Shin-Soo Choo is another outfield to target around this price, but he’s been in a bit of a slump lately. Blackmon is poised for a big night as he leads off and faces $oft tossing righty Bronson “I’m Bad at Guitar” Arroyo.

OF 2 – Corey Dickerson, $4,000: Dickerson is one of my top 5 outfielders tonight, hits in the top of the order and the stars have aligned in Colorado for the Rockies to $core 452 runs.

OF 3 – Gerardo Parra, $3,600: This pri$e is way to cheap for a player that went 3-for-4 with four runs and two RBI last night. Rico Sauve will be in all my lineups tonight.

Good luck and remember to always check daily lineups and weather conditions.

agoo1
Featured Writer: The Guru

@TheGuruGS
#TheDirtyTurban

The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 6/2

aacash2

Happy Monday, my daily degenerates. It’s back to the grind and by grind I mean making green. Unfortunately, your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru has hit a bit of cold streak. Is the winter in Cancun on hold? Hell no, but if the downturn gets any worse we may end up in Tijuana. Permanently.

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Here’s your dirty turbaned Guru’s team for Monday 6/2. Good luck, cheers.

All values are based on DraftKings pricing.

SP 1 – Clayton Kershaw, $12,400: Paying up big to give Kershaw another go after losing two of his last three. The White Sox struggle against lefties with a 25.7% $trikeout rate and Kershaw should be the K-king tonight.

SP 2 – Matt Garza, $8,300: If we’re going to pay up for Kershaw we have to find value elsewhere. The pri$e is right for Garza who faces a Twinkies team that ranks near the bottom in all hitting categories.

C – Jose Molina, $1,900: Is it time to change may punt catcher philosophy? Not yet. If you want to $pend look to A.J. Pierzinski or Jonathan Lucroy.

1B – Ryan Howard, $4,100: Nice pri$e on Howard here who has homers in two straight games.

2B – Kyle Seager, $3,900: Seager loves hitting off right-handers (.394 wOBA) and hits better on the road in his career (.281). $eager has two homers in his last four games.

3B – Josh Harrison, $2,600: This is way too cheap for a leadoff bat that’s averaging 9+ FPT$ over his last four games.

SS – Jean Segura, $4,100: The Vegas $harks don’t like Kyle Gibson today and neither do I – stack the Brew Crew.

OF 1 – Carlos Gomez, $5,400: Like those Brewers bats tonight and Ryan Braun is a little pricey. Gomez is the next best thing hitting .391 with two homers, 10 RBI and four steals over the last two weeks. Other option$ around this price include Jacoby Ellsbury and Andrew McCutchen.

OF 2 – Seth Smith, $3,700: Smith loves hitting off right-handers with a .432 wOBA and an OPS of 1.01. At this price, $mith will be on a lot of my teams tonight.

OF 3 – Michael Saunders, $3,400: $aunders has hits in six of his last seven, batting .375 with a homer, six RBI and five runs. Other value plays include Oscar Taveras and Curtis Granderson.

Good luck and remember to always check daily lineups and weather conditions.

agoo1
Featured Writer: The Guru

@TheGuruGS
#TheDirtyTurban