(PHOTO) NYC Strip Club Offers Carmelo Anthony Free Lap Dances For Life To Sign With Knicks, Cleveland Makes Same Offer to LeBron – It’s Not As Exciting

New York City strip club Scores really wants Carmelo Anthony to re-sign with the Knicks. They want him back so bad that they are offering ‘Melo free lap dances. For life.

According to TMZ Sports, Scores New York is also offering Carmelo the chance to judge the Scores “Dollars for Scholars” amateur pole dancing competition, which gives a $15,000 scholarship in his name to one lucky young lady. How generous! If that wasn’t enough, Scores will also invite him to play in a charity basketball game featuring nothing but topless women. No hand fouls!

Meanwhile in Cleveland, the Angry Beaver strip club is offering LeBron James one free lap dance from this lady.

Have fun in Cleveland, Bron Bron.

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(VIDEO) Metta World Peace Punked By Jimmy Kimmel, Calls 911

The folks at Jimmy Kimmel Live pulled a prank on former NBA baller Metta World Peace that resulted in Mr. Peace calling 911.

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(VIDEO) NBA Playoffs Update: Carmelo Anthony Survives Sharknado

New York Knicks star fisherman forward Carmelo Anthony has no time for playoff basketball – he’s never heard of it.

Melo has bigger fish to fry.

View this post on Instagram

"Sometimes you have to expect the unexpected" #StayMe7o. #IReallyDoThis

A post shared by Carmelo Anthony (@carmeloanthony) on Apr 27, 2014 at 4:53pm PDT

Anthony was able to haul this one in all on his own. What? You expected him to pass?

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Knicks Look to Cash in on Phil

The New York Knicks introduced their $60 million savior on Tuesday – Phil Jackson.

Phil Jackson introduced as @NYKnicks President on http://t.co/R18MM0ugJF & @NBATV. pic.twitter.com/tsQTE0exJ1

— NBA (@NBA) March 18, 2014

While Saint Phil may not field a winner at Madison Square Garden any time soon, the Knicks will sure bank on some merch:

That didn’t take long. The shelves at the MSG store, ready to make some money. pic.twitter.com/8WIQbjTMk9

— Chris Herring (@HerringWSJ) March 18, 2014

[h/t Fanatics]

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Knicks Fans Create Phil Jackson ‘I’m Coming Home’ Video

According to multiple reports, Phil Jackson is heading to NYC. Finally, Knicks fans have something to cheer about.

However, don’t expect Jordan, Pippen, Shaq and Kobe to be walking through that door any time soon.

Got to love the enthusiasm, though.

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New York Knicks Want Phil Jackson, Phil Jackson Wants to Coach ’95 Bulls

According to Stephen A. Smith, the New York Knicks want Phil Jackson to be their next head coach.

BREAKING: according to Stephen A. the @nyknicks have reached out to @PhilJackson11 to become their next head coach. pic.twitter.com/IrqzUTz0uR

— ESPN First Take (@ESPN_FirstTake) March 7, 2014

The Knicks would also like to build a DeLorean that goes back in time so they can kidnap Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman.

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Knicks Fans Plan Protest

Knicks fans will grab their pitchforks, light their torches and take to the streets March 19 to protest the level of suck that is the New York Knickerbockers.

The Facebook page KF4L (Knicks Fans For Life) Rally has organized a protest of team owner James Dolan’s handling of the franchise which currently stands at 21-40.

The organizers told the New York Post:

“We understand Dolan will not sell. We understand change may not come of this. We just want our voices heard. We want to remind Dolan and the NBA that our voices matter. We buy the tickets, the jerseys, the NBA League Pass subscriptions. We are frustrated. We are tired. We deserve better.”

While the march on the Garden probably won’t accomplish much, the Dirty Turban always approves of a little civil discourse. Next step? Stop buying tickets to that joke of a team.

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(PHOTO) Chris Bosh Steals LeBron’s Mask, Becomes Boshman

LeBron James had his mask swiped following Thursday nights win over the Knicks – by Chris Bosh.

Bosh is Boshman and sent this pic out via Instagram:

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(PHOTOS) Morning Wood: Kaley Cuoco Attends Knicks Game (don’t hold it against her)

Actress Kaley Cuoco of The Big Bang Theory, tennis geek husband Ryan Sweeting and hipster musician Marcus Mumford attended the Knicks game this week, but we’re not going to hold any of these things against her.

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Meta World Peace’s Brother Rips Knicks; Tweets James Dolan May Have Gay Sex Tape

The soon-to-be former New York Knick formerly known as Ron Artest, Meta World Peace, has a brother that loves to tweet, has an unlimited data plan and an opinion.

With the Kicks ready to buy out or release Meta, Danny Artest went off to burn some bridges via Twitter:

Thanks, Internet. ‘Lil Artest later deleted all the tweets.

What? I delete my tweets everyday. Keeps my people wondering. Unpredictable. The ladies love it. That’s why I gets so much box.

— Daniel Artest (@DMArtestQB) February 22, 2014

We tip our turban in your general direction, Danny.

[h/t blacksportsonline]

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