The Daily Degenerate Fantasy Baseball Picks 7/30


Happy Hump Day, Dirty Turbanites. After a long and glorious hot streak, my winning ways came to an end last night as I finished out of the money for the first time in over a week. No need to shed internet tears for me, loyal readers. Remember, not only am I well-spoken and incredibly talented, but I’m also stunningly handsome.

ugly MLB decided to split the schedule again today so we have 6 games in the afternoon and 9 games on the PM schedule. Shockingly, I have a job and need to work during the day so I’m focusing on the night slate.

Want to play with the Dirty Turban crew on DraftKings tonight? Click this link. Here’s the Legendary (& Handsome) Lifshitz team tonight on DraftKings

SP 1 – Zack Greinke, $10,600: Over the last few weeks I’ve switched my strategy and begun to pay up for pitching. Tonight, I’m buying Greinke, I love the matchup against the whiff happy Braves andI have a feeling he could hit double digit K’s and out score the more expensive King Felix

SP 2 – Corey Kluber, $9,400: There aren’t many pitchers I own more shares of in fantasy leagues this year than Kluber. He’s also been a great play on dailies for most of the year. The matchup against a mediocre Mariners lineup tonight has me buying Corey K’s.

C – Caleb Joseph, $2,000: Punt Alert! Everyone’s favorite punt play gave way to Nick Hundley yesterday. This means he’s (more than likely) in the lineup tonight. At a cost of $2,000 he’s a great way to open up some cash for the big bats. CJ is like the Dollar menu of DFS – always tasty, but mostly causes extreme flatulence.

1B – David Ortiz, $5,400: Ortiz has been one of the few bright spots in the Sox lineup this year as he’s continued to hit regardless of the mediocrity around him. Over the last week, Papi has been hot, hitting 5 homers over the last 9 games. Tonight’s matchup vs Mark Buehrle looks tasty from a BvP standpoint. Ortiz is 25/79 with 4 homers and 14 RBI’s lifetime off the lefty. That’s a huge sample size and Ortiz is in the groove. Sign me up! Dong of the night.

2B – Yangervis Solarte, $3,400: Solarte is a great example of how quickly life can change. Back in April and May he was a .300 hitter in the Yankees lineup and now he plays for the Padres. What a ride! His 2014 season is like the baseball equivalent of Antoine Walker’s life!

3B – Brock Holt, $4,000: Am I building a Red Sox stack? I just might be. Not much data with this pick, but I like Holt and at $4,000 he’s one of my favorite players at the hot corner today. Doesn’t that sound like Gentleman’s Club? The Hot Corner, home of $150 hand jobs!

SS – Andrew Romine, $2,600: Suarez was pulled from last night’s game, so I’m expecting Romine to get the starting nod tonight for the Tigers. I’m hoping Andy Lettuce brings some green to my team. Oh and some vitamin A! Vitamin A is important guys!

OF 1 – Jose Bautista, $5,600: This pick was originally based on Joey Bats career BvP against Jon Lester. Due to the Red Sox desire to be the Tampa Bay Rays, they have decided to scratch Lester from his start, signaling a trade is on the horizon. I could go on all day about the stupidity of this move but I won’t. Instead, I’ll focus on Joey Bats and his current hot streak. In his last 7 games, Jose has scored in double digits 5 times. Over that span his lowest scoring game is 7. I’d be shocked if he doesn’t put one in the seats tonight.

OF 2 – David Murphy, $3,600: His numbers vs. Felix Hernandez are a total anomaly. He’s 24/78 with 3 homers and 16 RBI’s. That’s just crazy and it’s a pretty substantial sample size to draw from too. I’ll give Murphy a go and see if he can capture some of that magic again tonight.

OF 3 – Jonny Gomes, $3,200: Jonny Gomes loves a few things: Himself first and foremost, America, and hitting lefties. The man is to hitting lefties what Rajai Davis is to SAGNOF. He just crushes lefty pitching and his BvP lifetime against Buehrle is right in line with that train of thought – 11/33 with 4 walks tells me there’s a good chance for a profit tonight.

As always be sure to check the lineups, give a look at the weather and I toast your team with slightly chilled Manischewitz.

Contributing Writer: Ralph Lifshitz



Fantasy Junkies Top 10 Starting Pitchers


Now that we’ve finished with the hitters, let’s move on and talk pitching. As I’ve stated before, my drafting philosophy is to wait on pitching. Projecting success of starters is tough given frequency of injuries and they’re mostly inconsistent year-to-year. Therefore and heretofore, I won’t be owning any of these guys. Give me the bat and the everyday stats over the once a week starter any day. Pitching is deep this year and you might be able to just draft a couple starters, seven closers and stream arms all season. It sounds crazy, but I’m considering this approach this year – if it fails, I’ll chalk it up as an “experiment” that didn’t work just like my all scotch and Slim Jim diet. Sorry, liver. With my wet brain induced thoughts out of the way, here’s the top 10 starting pitchers for fantasy baseball in 2014.

1. Clayton Kershaw: Kershaw is the most sure thing here. In his last three seasons, he’s  51-23, 2.21 ERA, 0.97 WHIP, 9.2 K/9 and 4.2 K-to-BB ratio. I’ll drink to those numbers, but no way I draft a pitcher in the first, second or third round this year unless I’m really wasted. 2014 Projections: 17-9/2.68/1.04/220

2. Yu Darvish: There was no sophomore slump for Yu last season as he led the league with 277 K’s. *slow clap* He’ll pile them up again this year, just not on my team. 2014 Projections: 16/243/3.20/1.19

3. Felix Hernandez: King Felix makes many scepters raise in fantasy lovers pantaloons, but he won’t be ruling my fantasy kingdom this year. The King was outside the top 10 in pitching last season and while it’s tempting, wait on your prince pitching. 2014 Projections: 13/190/3.00/1.15

4. Max Scherzer: Mr. Cy Young led the league in wins and WHIP (0.97), was second in strikeouts, fifth in ERA and first in eyes you don’t want to look into. Hello, Max, it’s Chief. I don’t want you on my team this year. *Regression alert*  2014 Projections: 14/216/3.25/1.15

5. Adam Wainwright: Waino threw a lot of innings last year – nearly 300 if you include the playoffs. That sets off warning bells, whistles, sirens. 2014 Projections: 15/189/3.13/1.11

6. Stephen Strasburg: So…tempted…to…draft…Stras… *Drafts Shin-Soo Choo instead* 2014 Projections: 13/185/3.13/1.13

7. Jose Fernandez: Don’t disqualify Jose just because he plays on the Marlins. We’re talking legit Cy Young candidate with a 9+ K rate. This might be your last time to own him. Next year everyone will be talking about him like he’s Kershaw and he’ll be too rich for my blood. 2014 Projections: 13/186/3.00/1.15

8. Madison Bumgarner: This may be the first starter I draft. Most likely I wait another round. But what’s not to like about a young stud named Madison Bumgarner. He was either going to become a pro athlete or a Chippendale’s dancer. 2014 Projections:14/194/3.12/1.12

9. Cliff Lee: At some point Lee shows his mortality. Unless he’s walker. Shoot him, Daryl! 2014 Projections: 14/216/3.02/1.08

10. Chris Sale: Ready for a run on pitchers? Hope so.There were two pitchers with a 9+ K-rate and a sub-two walk rate last year. One was Matt Harvey and the other was, you guessed it, Chris Sale. This blurb is about Chris Sale. 2014 Projections: 12/201/3.32/1.15

Best of the rest: Justin Verlander, Anibal Sanchez, Alex Cobb, David Price, Zack Greinke, Julio Tehran, Homer Bailey, Cole Hamels, Matt Latos, Gio Gonzalez. 

Check out The Guru’s Top 100 fantasy players for 2014 here

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Zack Greinke on Opening in Australia: “There is Absolutely Zero Excitement”


The Los Angeles Dodgers may be opening the MLB season in the land down under, but don’t count pitcher Zack Greinke a fan.

Greinke shared his thoughts with ESPN about kicking off the year March 22 and 23 in Australia:

 “I would say there is absolutely zero excitement for it. There just isn’t any excitement to it. I can’t think of one reason to be excited for it.”

As expected, the comments were not sitting well in Sydney. The Sydney Morning Herald reported:

“Organizers in Sydney are far from thrilled with Greinke’s outburst… Sydney looks more like a chore for the powerhouse side than a historic chance to spread the baseball gospel… Arizona players have spoken of their desire to be a part of history in Sydney, but it seems big brothers the Dodgers may feel the venture is beneath them.”

Dodgers president Stan Kasten told the USA Today:

“Zack has this endearing, contrarian quality to him that we all know and love about him.”

In other words: Don’t mind Greinke, he’s just a colossal dick.


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Fantasy Junkies Top 80 Fantasy Baseball Players for 2014


Welcome back to the Top 100 fantasy Olympic curlers. With the number one pick the Guru selects Anna Sidorva, Russia. Oh, sorry, my fantasy junkies, you caught me in the middle of my Olympic moment. Let’s get back to talking bats, balls and bases. Someone asked me on Twitter where these superb Guru rankings/projections come from. Actually they said, “You’re a f***ing douche! Kershaw #19? Do you pull these rankings out of your ass?” Sorry, @MthewBerryTMR, I know you got wood for Clayton, but the rankings are actually compiled by my staff of illegal Thai immigrants – type faster, Chomkwan! With all that out of the way, let’s get to the top 80 fantasy players for 2014.

Top 20

Top 40

Top 60

61. Yoenis Cespedes: Rolling the dice here hoping last year was a sophomore slump. Some slump, he hit 26 homers and had 80 RBI. But, the .240 average was a drag. Get that BA to around .290 like in his rookie year and we have a bargain here. 2014 Projections: 74/24/85/.270/9

62. Allen Craig: If you missed out on a top tier first baseman, you better grab Craig and hold him tight. The pickings are about to get slim. 2014 Projections: 71/19/88/.301/3

63. Zack Greinke: The Z-man will most likely be the first starter I grab as I fill up on hitters early. As long as Grienke doesn’t get himself broken by Carlos Quentin, he’ll be solid. *crosses fingers*  2014 Projections: 14/172/3.30/1.17

64. Josh Donaldson: Where’s the love for JD? He went 89/24/93/.301 last season. it’s not like his name is JD Drew.  2014 Projections: 78/22/84/.280/5

65. Julio Tehran: If I miss Cobb or Greinke, this could be my ace this season. Best case, they all fall and I get two of the three. 2014 Projections: 11/154/3.64/1.20

66. Adrian Gonzalez: Gonzo could be in the top 50 this year, he could be in the bottom 50 this year. Kind of like most of the hitters in this bunch. I’m gambling he’s better than this.   2014 Projections: 72/22/96/.290/1

67. Jason Heyward: Seems like all the hitters in this tier are either old guys on the verge of slipping or young guys looking to bounce back. If Heyward stays healthy he’ll bounce.  2014 Projections: 83/22/66/15/.265

68. Homer Bailey: I’m high on Homer. And a handful of prescription drugs. Thanks Obamacare. Bailey is a target. 2014 Projections: 12/168/3.60/1.19

69. Craig Kimbrell: This is around the time the first closer comes of the board. Don’t be “drafts closer’s too early” guy. He always comes in last. 2014 Projections: 4/37/93/1.77/0.96

70. Carlos Beltran: Remember I mentioned the old guys and the young guys. This is the old guy. Beltran is back in the AL and as long as he doesn’t crash into the Fenway bullpen in April things should stay steady.  2014 Projections: 71/22/80/.279/4

71. Cole Hamels: Hamels has averaged over 200 innings in 5 of the last 6 years. How many bullets does he left in the gun? Now there’s rumors of shoulder “inflammation.” Stay away. 2014 Projections: 13/191/3.46/1/1.16

72. Aroldis Chapman: The second best closer on the board that won’t be on my team.   2014 Projections: 5/27/99/2.30/1.04

73. David Ortiz: Big Papi has 3 World Series rings, owns Boston and if he wants to be on your team are you going to argue?  2014 Projections: 77/25/87/.290/3

74. Kenley Jansen: Another dominant closer I’m tempted to draft, but resist when I remember there will be 4 or 5 guys with 20+ saves at the end of the year that came out of nowhere, i.e. Koji Uehara. 2014 Projections: 4/33/93/2.12/0.95

75. Matt Latos: Another possible target for your Guru. The K% was around 25% before an injury in June. If he’s healthy, he’s a solid. 2014 Projections:13/185/3.54/1.21

76. Gio Gonzalez: You draft Gio for the K’s, but he burned me last year and now he’s dead to me. Let someone else grab him too early.  2014 Projections: 13/189/3.40/ 1.25

77. Jordan Zimmermann: Nothing to see here. I’m looking for strikeouts here.  2014 Projections: 12/145/3.58/1.18

78. Matt Cain: The Brother of Dean will give a couple of weeks of dominant stuff, then a couple of meh. He’s dominmeh. I made a word. You’re welcome Websters. 2014 Projections: 12/170/3.48/1.15

79. Greg Holland: Look at this shiny good closer. We like shiny things. Resist. Grab a closer from the next tier*. *Coming tomorrow.  2014 Projections: 4/25/90/2.22/1.06

80. Anthony Rizzo: I might have Rizzo a little higher than others, but you know, I’m a rebel in a turban. Riz can’t hit lefties, but if he can just bat .260 against them he’d have a shot at 30 homers and a .300 average. That made you take notice. 2014 Projections: 75/27/84/.260/6

Friday we’ll have a special Valentine for you: A half eaten box of chocolates and the rest of the top 100Leave a question or comment below or find The Guru on Twitter @TheGuruGS