(VIDEO) ‘Morgan Freeman’ Reads LeBron James Letter

Posted on July 24, 2014 by The Guru

I can’t stand Frank Caliendo, but I’ll admit this is kind of funny.

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LeBron James Tops Jordan As America’s Most Popular Sports Figure. Guess Who’s No. 3?

Posted on July 18, 2014 by The Guru

A new Harris Poll found that LeBron James, for the first time in the history of polls that mean absolutely nothing, is more popular than Michael Jordan.

*slow clap*

We’re not sure how accurate this polling stuff is because this guy came in third:

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(VIDEO) LeBron James Gets ‘Dumb & Dumber’

Posted on July 16, 2014 by The Guru

LeBron is headed to back to Cleveland? You fellas been doing a bit of boozing, have you? Suckin back on grandpa’s old cough medicine?

[turban tip Reddit]

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(VIDEO) LeBron James ‘Delivers’ WWE-Style Beatdown On Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh

Posted on July 16, 2014 by The Guru

The LeBron James soap opera would not be complete without a WWE-style beatdown. Thanks, Internet.

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(PHOTO) All is Forgiven? LeBron Fan Rocks Burned Jersey

Posted on July 12, 2014 by The Guru

What’s more surprising? That Cleveland fans have forgiven all and rolled out the red carpet for Bron Bron’s “I’m coming home” party or that this bro actually saved his burnt jersey all these years?

Meanwhile in Miami…

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LeBron James’ Lawn Via Twitter: ‘Get Off Me’

Posted on July 11, 2014 by The Guru

As LeBron James prepares to make his decision, fans have started camping out in front of his Ohio mansion. It wasn’t long after the “siege” began that this Twitter account appeared.

I love Twitter and this is exactly why it was invented I’m sure.

SOURCE: You guys need to get off of me.

— LeBron’s Lawn (@LeBronsLawn) July 10, 2014

https://twitter.com/lebronslawn/status/487429547034681344

Featured Writer: The Guru
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(PHOTO) NYC Strip Club Offers Carmelo Anthony Free Lap Dances For Life To Sign With Knicks, Cleveland Makes Same Offer to LeBron – It’s Not As Exciting

Posted on July 11, 2014 by The Guru

New York City strip club Scores really wants Carmelo Anthony to re-sign with the Knicks. They want him back so bad that they are offering ‘Melo free lap dances. For life.

According to TMZ Sports, Scores New York is also offering Carmelo the chance to judge the Scores “Dollars for Scholars” amateur pole dancing competition, which gives a $15,000 scholarship in his name to one lucky young lady. How generous! If that wasn’t enough, Scores will also invite him to play in a charity basketball game featuring nothing but topless women. No hand fouls!

Meanwhile in Cleveland, the Angry Beaver strip club is offering LeBron James one free lap dance from this lady.

Have fun in Cleveland, Bron Bron.

Featured Writer: The Guru
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BREAKING Sources Say LeBron James Likely to Make a Decision on His Decision According to Multiple Sources Who Say He’ll Make a Decision

Posted on July 9, 2014 by The Guru

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The James in Miami You May Not Know

Posted on July 7, 2014 by The Guru

With all the rumors surrounding the best player on the planet LeBron James’ future with the Miami Heat – is he headed back to Cleveland, La La Land or will he play tight end for the Browns – it’s easy to forget the “James” in waiting, James Ennis.

Jimmy E may not be “The King”, but does have some princely skills. Ennis, drafted 50th overall by the Heat in last years draft, played overseas in Australia for the NBL league Champion Perth Wildcats during the 2013-14 season where he was given the Gordon Ellis Award for team MVP honors and finished 3rd in voting for the NBL league’s MVP. In 33 games, Ennis averaged 21.2 points, 7.1 rebounds and 2.1 assists per game whilst shooting 46.8%.

James Ennis is a 6′ 7″ forward with a shooters touch from anywhere on the court. He is also defensive minded and a gifted athlete. Ennis has the potential for stardom in the NBA and it would not surprise me if were to achieve All-Star status for many years to come.

Whether or not King James stays with the Eastern Conference champs, the Heat and their fans may want to prepare for some new royalty on South Beach. Unless, of course, he turns out to be the jester.

Contributing Writer: J. Gonzo
@Gonzo40J
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BREAKING LeBron James Headed Back to Cleveland…According to Caroline’s Cupcakes

Posted on July 6, 2014 by The Guru

LeBron James is headed back to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Mark it down. The King is bolting sunny South Beach for a return to shores of Lake Erie. We here at the Dirty Turban are not one to just jump on a rumor, but our sources are confirming the deal is done.

Who needs the unpronounceable Adrian Wojnarowski or the that douche Chris Broussard when you have Caroline’s Cupcakes just getting the scoop on everyone.